I arrived at a sandwich shop in downtown, but my client was nowhere to be seen. I called her to verify the location. She picked up saying, "Hello? Simon? Can you do me a favor and bring my sandwich to my apartment? It's already paid for, I just need you to bring it to my apartment. Leave it with the valet, he'll know it's for me."
...um..wut? I grabbed her sandwich and made my way to her apartment, dropped off the food, and drove off. Easiest $4.96 I ever made.
Later that night, I picked up three men ranging among the ages of 29-37. They requested to go to the House of Blues for a concert. There were all on their iPhones on an app called TINDR, and here's how the converstaion went:
Man 1: Check out this broad. I'm sure this pig loves it in the face. Just look at her, she wants it.
Man 2: How can you call them that? I just cant bring myself to call them that...they're people too.
Man 1: Are you serious, bro? Look at her description, it says she likes ATM. Only pigs like that shit. Whatever bro, I'd give it to her nasty. Oh man, check this one out. She definitely wants it.
--we are now driving past the Perot museum, and there are a slew of teenage girls swarming a charter bus for some boy band--
Man 2: What the hell is all this? Damn, look at all that young ass.
Man 3: Would you have sex with a 17 year old, Man 1?
Man 1: Dude, come on, I have a daughter. It's hard for me to think about shit like that.
Man 2: I sure as hell would, but what country would we be in? 'cuz I wouldn't do it in 'murrika.
Man 1: How old are you anyways, Man 2?
Man 2: Well, on TINDR, I'm only 29. But in real life, 37. Bitches don't really care, do they? I mean come on, they're on TINDR. They don't want a man, they just want the D.
Man 3: What's up with all this traffic? It reminds me of the time I drove 30 minutes for some ass in Wylie.
Man 2: I wouldn't drive 30 minutes for ass, fuck that.
Man 3: What if that ass looked like this? --proceeds to show Man 2 a picture--
Man 2: Okay, I take that back, I'll drive 30 minutes for that ass, but I'm staying the night and I'd get that ass again when I wake up, and then she better make me waffles.
Man 1: We'll get out here, bro. Thanks.
What the hell, I remember the guys talking like that back in undergrad...but I've never seen grown-ass men talk like that before. Holy shit.
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