15-Feb-14

This Saturday's taxi rides weren't too boring, but they aren't as juicy as my first two posts.

As usual, nothing interesting really happens until after 10:00 PM anyways.  If you haven't heard the #selfie song by The Chainsmokers, please listen to it before reading any further (click the link).

With that in mind, now imagine yourself in my car, listening to soothing classical music as I pick these two girls up at Southern Methodist University.  Don't judge me.  After spending 15 minutes on SH-75 in bumper to bumper traffic, I needed it to not want to lop someone's head off.

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Obnoxious Girl: Oh hey Uber driver, can you just take us down the street across the highway?  We live like, right there.  OH. MY. GOD.  Where did you get that Louie purse.  OMG wow, that is so awesome!  Who got that for you!?

Annoying Girl: My mom got it for me!
Obnoxious Girl: You are so lucky, like, I would have to spend like, ALL my birthday money on something like that.  What is that, like, $2000!?
Annoying Girl: It's so great, I can fit anything I wa- (interrupted by Obnoxious)
Obnoxious Girl: What is that, the MM or the GM?  I have the PM, but I would kill for a GM.
Annoying Girl: What's the difference between th- (interrupted by Obnoxious).
Obnoxious Girl: The GM is the biggest one there is.  GOD, I am SO JEALOUS of you!

Obnoxious Girl: (talking to me) Is this water for us?  Because like, I always take UberX and I always get offered water, but I never take it.  Do you mind if I take it?  I need it a little bit, because like, I'm kind of drunk, but not that drunk.

Simon: Yeah, those are for y'all.
Annoying Girl:  The driver's probably like, "oh my God, these annoying girls are killing me.  Who are these people."  So anyways, how'd you like that rush party?
Simon: Oh, you girls are rushing a sorority?  What year are you girls? Which one are you trying to ru-- (interrupted by Obnoxious)

Obnoxious Girl: Oh, we're rushing *** *** ***.  It's not like, a normal sorority.  It's like, one of those business or academic ones where there's girls AND guys.  And for me, it's totally great that there's guys in it, because I like, like guys.

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Here's the #selfie song again...

I don't know how many brain cells I lost that night.